Losing a loved one is an experience all of us have the misfortune of at some point, and we all process it differently. There is no road map for grief, and if you know the stages, they don’t happen in any particular order. And it isn’t a complete circle where you go through each phase once, complete it, and move on. For some, they’re so exhausted by their own grief, they just can’t take it and want to know what to do from here to get out of this dark hole. The emptiness, sadness, depression, anger, and numbness put you on a horrible rollercoaster you feel like you can’t get off of.
You may be asking whether you’re grieving the “right way” in order to heal or to move forward. And this is difficult question to answer because people ask assuming they should be crying, or remembering the good times, or making sense of someone’s life, death, and contributions. There is no quick path to acceptance. The only way forward is through.
You may feel guilty for wanting things to feel normal again, or even for experiencing moments of happiness, however brief. Loss is not something that you learn to “get over” but you can adjust to a new normal over time and get the emotional support you need.
Our loved ones often do not know how to respond during this time. They mean well and want to be there for you, but death being a top fear for many, people tend to shy away from discussing it. It makes them uncomfortable. Grief therapy/counseling is here for this purpose, and you do not have to go through this alone.